Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some prime examples of gibberish from the bible?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If my lovely sister sleeps with my boyfriend, what should I do about her?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand how hurricane paths work

Is there a musician who has publicly stated that they do not want their music played by the Trump campaign or at a Trump rally? If so, who and why?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What are your thoughts on the dating app "scam"?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why am I sweating so much when I try to do anything?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why does my vagina always itch so badly after my periods?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do Christians think voting for Trump is any better than voting for Kamala Harris?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What is the general opinion of psychologists on Donald Trump's presidency?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What do you think is the #1 cause of why relationships nowadays don't seem to last long?

I can read

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Is there a stereotype that South Indians are physically strong and muscular compared to other regions of India?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them